The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
