she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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