ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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