just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
