Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
