Banned from zoo.
Again?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
