Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
