Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
