You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
