I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
