I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
