I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
