just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
