I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
