I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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