Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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