I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
