Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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