he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
