Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
