vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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