once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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