How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
