Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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