I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
