yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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