I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
did you just send me my own nude
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
