I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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