After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
