i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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