found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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