curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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