You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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