right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
