TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
