conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
