i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
