now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
