He is an equal opportunity slut.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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