If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
