Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
