So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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