Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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