Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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