I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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