i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
