i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Bang-toberfest begins!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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