The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well you can't waste a boner
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize