Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize