so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
