her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
