I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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