47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
