If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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