he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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