I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
