he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
